Jokealong: CIRCLES

January 11, 2013 § 6 Comments

Since people are continually stumbling onto The Oldest Jokes in the World in search of actual jokes, not just abstract theories about them, every other week we have a joke-along post. I’ll search through the site’s stats for a specific joke people have been searching for, comb the internet for the best existing examples, and try come up with one of my own. And then you all can add your own in the comments, so the next time someone comes searching, they won’t leave disappointed.

This week, we consider the humble but hilarious circle.

This autumn, I titled a series of posts “Punning in Cirles“, and the searches for “circle jokes” and “puns about circles” have been coming in ever since. But after struggling to find anything worth a chuckle for the first few jokealongs, I was dreading taking on the circle. I guess I thought that since it is a rather simple geometric shape, there would be even less to play with than there’d been for the relatively complicated and colorful hammock.

I was wrong: this was by far the easiest jokealong yet. I think this is because circles are simple and abstract enough to be ubiquitous; everyone comes across a hundred circle-ish objects on a daily basis and, so there are lots of opportunities for making humorous connections. As a result, while I had trouble finding a dozen jokes about walnuts, there are at least a dozen different genres of circle jokes out there. For instance, there are many about the geometric shape itself:

Q: What did the farmer use to make crop circles?

A: A protractor.

There are many others where our looser understanding of circles—as a verb or adjective–play a major role:

An old farmer was hauling a load of manure when he was stopped by a state trooper. “You were speeding,” the cop said. “I’m going to have to give you a ticket.”
“Yep,” the farmer said as he watched the trooper shoo away several flies.
“These flies are terrible,” the trooper complained.
“Yep,” the farmer said. “Those are circle flies.”
“What’s a circle fly?”
“Them flies that circle a horse’s ass,” answered the farmer. “Them are circle flies.”
“You wouldn’t be calling me a horse’s ass, would you?” The trooper angrily asked.
“Nope, I didn’t,” the farmer replied. “But you just can’t fool them flies.

(I’ve omitted one about circling sharks because my fiance is selachophobic—and she was so quick with her “Sir Cumference of the Round Table” pun when I told her about this post that I figure I’ll abstain from teasing her for a week.)

There’s also a whole genre of hilarious venn diagrams out there, of which I think the following best captures the spirit of The Oldest Jokes in the World:

1287710456030007301

As a result, some deliberation went into picking my favorite for the first time. It was close, but I like this pun the best:

Two ropes walk into an old western saloon. The first rope goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.
“We don’t serve ropes in this saloon,” sneers the bartender, who picks up the rope, whirls him around over his head, and tosses him out into the street.
“Uh, oh. I’d better disguise myself,” thinks the second rope. He ruffles up his ends to make himself look bigger and twists himself into a circle. Then he too sidles up to the bar.
“Hmmmmm. Are you one of them ropes?” snarls the bartender.
“No. I’m a frayed knot.”

As for my contribution, I decided to go theoretical, with a joke that is, itself, a circle:

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Knock.

Knock who?

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Knock?

Knock who?

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Knock?

Knock who?

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Knock?

Knock who?

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Knock?

Knock who?

Join the jokealong and post your best circle joke, venn diagram, or obnoxious word sculpture below!

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§ 6 Responses to Jokealong: CIRCLES

  • I was trying to write a hammock joke for last week, but I couldn’t come up with something that led to the punchline “The mucky-mucks ran hammock amok.” And I started to sound like Fozzie Bear in my head. Hammock-amok-amok-a! I’ll think in circles and get back to you. Everything comes back around…

  • So there was a shape who was sometimes a square and sometimes a circle- he changed from day to day. He was invited to a circles only party, but it turns out he couldn’t go- he wasn’t a round that day.

    That’s the best I could do…oh dear.

  • Kelly says:

    What did the triangle say to the circle?
    “You’re pointless”
    By the way, the best part of that joke was it was a comic on a beer koozie. Great job on the blog Evan!

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